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Self Love through Illness

This past little while I have been challenged by a virus that has knocked me back in ways I haven't experienced in a long time. It brought some less fun times to mind - which I think I will share with you.

In two thousand and fifteen I was diagnosed with stage 3a endometrial cancer, which was present in my uterus and fallopian tubes. I share this with you to help you understand some of the experiences that helped me create the some of the tools that I bring to my coaching clients.

While that time, in a lot of ways, was one of the most terrifying of my life, it also was one of the most tender and loving.

I learned so much from my experience. My home life and community was abundantly filled with support, love and help. My hospital time, not so much.

Unfortunately, where I live, the hospital where gynecological cancers are treated is in Halifax, which is a two and a half hour drive away. For very few times I was able to go with a friend. Though mostly, I was there on my own. I had to learn how to advocate for myself within the system so my needs (as a vegetarian, as a team-member in treating my own cancer, etc.) could be met. I had to fight sometimes, just to be heard and honoured in the process. In many ways during my Halifax experience I felt like I was just a number - "next!"

This was very challenging, especially as I often ended up feeling nauseated and exhausted (and still needed to find my ride - who was not necessarily someone I had met before). Most of the people tried to be kind - especially my nurses, but the doctors just didn't have time to deal with everything they had going on.

Two women talking, one in a cancer hat wearing a colourful skirt and glasses with face showing, the other with a blue vest, short hair and glasses, faced away from camera
My friend and myself at the benefit that was held for me. Photo credit - Clara Milligan

I was blessed with some beautiful local people who stepped up and carried me through. The people who became part of my then community were so amazing. They gifted me with places to stay, so I wasn't stuck alone, not able to drive to even get groceries. They made sure to have my son visit me at their home so I could have time with him in the midst of a difficult separation from my former husband. They brought food, and held a benefit and spent time with me when I was probably not the best company to be around. They took me to my local doctors appointments and even made sure I got into the emergency room when I had a little scare. Some of them remain as important parts of MY community, and I am grateful for them everyday.

I was a Giver

At first, I didn't really know how to receive this love. I was a 'giver.' I was the one who organized the drive to help house a pregnant newcomer to Canada so she could give birth at home before she had medical coverage (we have a three month period for newcomers, before they receive free medical coverage here). I was the daycare provider where people brough hand-me-downs from one kid to the next. Who made sure families met each other in the summer and had 'breast-feeding cafe' when the mamas came to get their children at the end of the day. I have held community parties and participated in clothing drives, given to the angel trees, and heck, even became a Foster mum. I think I was a giver as a way to cope with my early life - to not look inside at my unmet needs.

I had to learn how to receive - and I needed to change my mindset to "I am giving them the gift of a place to share their gifts" in order to mentally be okay with this shift in my life.

Bring Mind-Fluidity with me

As I move into this next part of my life - being a coach - I am bringing this new mind-fluidity with me. I am sharing the love I have received along with the understanding on how to become good at receiving. I can show you how to create the life you need in the midst of the craziness that the world has to offer. I can bring you to new ways of processing emotions which you may have long forgotten were part of you.

I will coach you through the changes that you decide you want in your life, so you can evolve into the person that you wish to become. I shine a light onto your shadows with you, so you can see and embrace all of who you have been. Integrating your past into your present so it no longer has a hold on your emotions. I will hold space with you so you can grieve; who you were, the places in your life where you feel you left yourself behind, and the things you wish you had received in your younger years.

I have done this work - and honestly, I will keep doing it as things come forward into my consciousness that need space and grieving. I am always shifting and growing as a person, as a coach, as a support. I will always bring new things, tools, and ideas to the table because I want to share what I am learning.

I have spaces available if you desire to book a call - and I am also looking for some people to participate in my signature program. If you identify as female or enbie, and want to Seek your Truth, Explore your Shadows and Align with your Soul Purpose, please send me an email at so we can connect.


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